I’m in charge here.

I don’t know whether to laugh or cry about this but I think I’m finally understanding what a boundary is. I’ve taken classes, read books, watched You Tube videos about boundaries. I knew I needed to work on “having boundaries” but I never could quite get there. The only way I can explain it is that it was like trying to learn a really complicated theory that my brain wasn’t able to fully comprehend.

I thought a boundary was like putting up a wall and trying to hide behind it. But I could never figure out to get the wall to go up. And even if I could get the wall up, there I was, hiding behind it, shaking in my boots.

I just read a book that allowed something to click in my brain. What I didn’t understand was that – I’m in charge here. I have the power to engage or disengage emotionally with another person. I make that choice. Just like I have the power to decide whether to be in someones physical presence, I have the power to decide whether to be with them emotionally as well.

It feels as if I just stepped into a whole new world and I’m still trying to process what this actually means for me.

I also feel like there is more to understand about this and maybe I’m just touching the surface.

I’m in charge here.

Thanks for reading today’s entry in my daily blog.  My goal here is to practice noticing. I try to write about small things and I try to keep it light. Sometimes I write about creativity or healing. And sometimes I write about my dogs or what I cooked for dinner. Writing daily here is a way for me to shine a light back on my life and help me see.

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