Strength

Anxiety is strong.

She used to be my BFF. I know her well.

I thought she was looking out for me, but she was in it for herself. Have you had a friend like that? I couldn’t see it.

Anxiety wants you to listen to her. She badgers you relentlessly.
But she isn’t to be trusted.

Anxiety wants you to do everything right. She wants your life to be perfect.
But she doesn’t want you to see what’s already there.

Anxiety wants you to be free. She shows you what you need to do.
But she thinks being free is living in a cage.

Anxiety wants to help you be in control. She knows you can make it work.
But she doesn’t know that control is a lost cause.

Anxiety wants just this one thing to happen. She says it will all be okay then.
But she never fails to grip onto the next thing.

Anxiety wants to keep you safe. She wants to keep you alive.
But she smothers you.

When I separated myself from her, I was able to see the manipulation.

You can only trust yourself.
Perfection doesn’t exist.
True freedom is attainable.
Nothing is under control.
There is no magic fix.
We are not safe. Ever.

Anxiety is strong.

But I’m stronger.

I had to be able to see my own power.

She still pays me a visit every now and then. She mostly comes when I am stressed, tired, hungry – when I haven’t been taking care of myself. But when she comes, she comes fast and she comes strong.

But I’m stronger.

Without her, I can see clearly. Life is full of ups and downs. It’s like floating on the ocean waves. Some days calm and rolling. Other days foaming and crashing. She was battling against the waves. I’m going with the flow. Waiting it all out, so I can enjoy the peaceful water.

There is peace inside of strength. And I choose to live in the peace.