I can amaze myself with my ability to procrastinate chores. And when I’m finally doing it, I’ll complain and feel sorry for myself. But then, when it’s finally done, I’ll think to myself, Well, geez that wasn’t so bad. But I don’t learn. I just repeat the process over and over again.
Today I finally started cleaning off the back porch. I couldn’t put it off any longer. It probably took double the amount of time it should of because I kept taking breaks and going inside to tell Christian about how much I don’t want to do this. He was not impressed. But now its done and I’m happy.
I even painted the concrete floor on the porch, something I’ve said I was going to do for about three years now. Tomorrow I’m going to stencil it. Yay!
I read this passage from The Artist’s Way to Christian the other day. He said it helped him understand me better. I wanted to share it here.
There is a connection between self-nurturing and self-respect. If I allow myself to be bullied and cowed by other peoples urges for me to be more normal or more nice, I sell myself out. They may like me better, feel more comfortable with my more conventional appearance or behavior, but I will hate myself. Hating myself, I may lash out at myself and others.
Thanks for reading today’s entry in my daily blog. My goal here is to practice noticing. I try to write about small things and I try to keep it light. Sometimes I write about creativity or healing. And sometimes I write about my dogs or what I cooked for dinner. Writing daily here is a way for me to shine a light back on my life and help me see.
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