A trip to Target this morning. This makes me sad to say, but Target just doesn’t get me as excited as it once did. I remember going there in my 20’s when they first came to New England. I had to go up and down every aisle to see what shit I needed. I did not want to miss a thing!
A couple shorter walks in the woods today. The snow was too deep and I didn’t have proper boots. One of the gifts of fresh snow is the tracks. There was definitely a family of deer. I think I found where the rabbit family lives too.
I’ve been reading a book called Self Compassion by Kristen Neff. The very basic idea is this – we beat ourselves up when we make mistakes or fail or don’t do something perfectly. We think that’s going to help us. But it doesn’t. Her research shows giving ourselves kindness and gentle care in the times we’re suffering is much more helpful. You give yourself the compassion you need as a human being.
I’m starting to try some of her suggestions. I have to tell you, it is very difficult for me. I didn’t see how hard I was on myself. But I’m going to keep at it. If there’s one thing I’ve learned is that you can change habits. It’s hard as hell, but it is possible.
Here is what Kristen Neff repeats to herself silently when something goes wrong:
This is a moment of suffering.
Suffering is part of life.
May I be kind to myself in this moment.
May I give myself the compassion I need.